Archive for August, 2008

Obama Files Stolen Thunder Report

Friday, August 29th, 2008

     John McCain picked his VP today under a cloud of secrecy the likes of which seems impossible in today’s society. The speculation swirled around the “usual suspects”, men who were vanquished in the campaign and more men who seemed like good choices for vice president based on credentials of leadership. McCain surprised all of them, and all of us, by picking a running mate with all of those qualities, only in the body of a woman. Take that, Obie and Hill.     Joe Biden was brought on as Obama’s running mate not only to lend some foreign policy experience to the ticket (since the Candidate himself has none), but also to serve as the crust on the bread of Obama. Biden was chomping at the bit, eager to attempt to eviscerate his male counterpart in any debates. He now faces a conundrum in that he must be gentle with the “lady”, at least if there is any modicum of consistency in how the main stream media views men attacking women. It was that very perception that shielded Hillary through much of her solo career, despite her auto-biographical image as tougher and smarter than anyone else.

     The really good news is this, however; Sarah Palin brings much more to the plate than merely being McCain’s “beard”. She has much more to offer than simply neutralizing Biden. She’s smart, she’s tough, she’s self-made and she’s more of a man than most inside the Beltway, in a strictly colloquial sense, of course. And most important of all, she’s already more qualified on her own to be President than the Democrat’s nominee. Which is why there is such delicious irony in the attacks already emanating from Camp Obama.

     That camp is, with straight faces, already saying that McCain’s pick is a bad one because Palin has only been the Governor of Alaska for two years. That’s two more years of executive experience than the combined Democrat ticket. Further, before being Governor, Palin was the Mayor of Wasilla, AK and was later elected as President of the Alaska Council of Mayors. It seems she knows a thing or two about being in charge. So for the Obama Camp to complain that McCain essentially put an inexperienced person a heartbeat away from the Presidency is more than feeble, it’s pathetic.

     McCain has the edge over them all in foreign policy experience, and he’s the candidate for President, which would make the ticket properly top-heavy. The Democrat ticket more closely resembles Hillary Clinton’s figure, and the top man on that ticket is young enough to stick around for a full two terms. Maybe he’ll learn a bit on the job, but that would depend on how quick our enemies are to curtail his education.

     Sarah Palin would be ready to take the reins if, God forbid, something were to happen to President McCain. The fact that she already has executive experience thus lends more balance to the Republican ticket than the bowling pin that is the Democrats’. And, as someone I know who is personally familiar with Ms. Palin said, she will tie Biden up in knots at the debates and stand him on his head in the corner. (Kudos, AK).

     This campaign season just decked the halls and I am ready to party.

-Woody

Line In The Sand

Wednesday, August 6th, 2008

     It has been said that good fences make good neighbors. While there may be a modicum of truth to that phrase, it has been proven that a strong, collaborative community bears much sweeter fruit than an isolationist mentality. I maintain that the latter is true, but only to a greater degree than the former, rather in contrast thereto. Both have their merits if practiced properly. Likewise, neither works well exclusively.     Boundaries have been the nature of man since time began, but cooperation has always been their companion. We have always felt more comfortable in our own personal domiciles, but eager to wander out into the community to interact with our neighbors when the need or desire arose. Everywhere in-between the dwellings of those who gathered for either productive or leisurely purposes was considered common ground. What America has succeeded in nurturing in her people was a comfort level in these regards based on a mutual understanding of our land. In other words, we felt completely at ease in a pseudo-neutral setting solely because, while it was conducted in “common land”, the very definition of the phrase was universally understood; we were Americans.

     The previous century for America saw an unprecedented influx to a particular country. To be simple, this was the place to be. One would expect nothing short of chaos in such a situation, but that did not happen. What did happen was that all of these new arrivals cared for nothing more than to embrace America’s culture and to blend in as quickly as possible. Our culture was enthusiastically adopted, our language was studied and self-enforced, and our laws were embraced and obeyed. Of particular note: at that time, there was no DHS, as there was no need for it. People came here for a better life and they actually wanted to become Americans.

     So what has happened since? Why do we have such tumultuousness? The answer is not simple. The recent revocation of the Labor Day Holiday at a Tyson Foods plant in Shelbyville, TN in favor of the Muslim holiday of Eid al-Fitr is cause for concern. It is a clear case of the invited guests suddenly rearranging the furniture in the home of their gracious hosts. Long before we became too timid to risk insulting our guests, there was a time when we would have made it clear who owned the home, and who set the rules therein.     It has been a tried and true practice of civilized peoples to draw a line in the sand, indicating phantom fences before we envisioned their actual construction. It has served well as a civilian law-enforcement technique. It was a mark one crossed at their own peril, and it was a cognitive act either way the decision went. Now, however, it seems that the line has been drawn in the sand at the shoreline of America, and no one has been minding the tide, which has washed away that line without cognizance of any sort.

     It may ultimately fall to me and me alone, but someone needs to get down to the beach and maintain the line. If not, we may find ourselves homeless in the world.

-Woody

The Reason For The Season

Saturday, August 2nd, 2008

     Here we are, in the heart of hurricane season. It’s one of my favorite times of the year, conjuring memories of hiding in the basement as a lad, watching Fluffy fly through the air because we forgot to bring her in…ah, to go back to such simpler times. I hope you have all decorated your homes with the appropriate seasonal decorations. It makes the neighborhood so festive for the kiddies. And for the love of God, I hope you used eco-friendly bulbs this year!     I love the theme shows that come with the season, too, because they’re not as predictable as say, Christmas Specials, which you can look up in the TV Guide and actually plan your day around. No, Hurricane Specials are more fun because you never know when they’re going to pop up on your screen! Spontaneity, that’s the spice of life. Not knowing when a special will appear is almost as much fun as waiting for your favorite song to play on the radio.

     I know I watch more TV during Hurricane Season because of the uncertainty. My TV is happier, too. When it’s out of season, I spend more time on my computer and I get silly error messages all the time:

     Just the other day, I was watching a thrill-packed episode of Iron Lung Chef when the show was interrupted by a Special. At first it was a still screen with the station’s logo and a voice over telling me that they were sorry to break into my favorite show. (I forgave them because they had no way of knowing that my favorite show is actually ’70’s reruns of Curio and Hutch, a show about two really cool guys who make the most beautiful furniture). As the still screen faded, I felt the tingle of excitement; the Special was starting!     And there was the star of the Special, a horizontal reporter in a soaked, bright yellow slicker, clinging precariously to a palm tree with one hand and holding the microphone with the other. (I always wondered what the camera guy was holding onto). Speaking to the Anchor back in studio, “Ernie, this is one of the worst you’ve ever sent me out into! Thanks a lot, pal!”
“Bob, what can you tell us from the scene?”
“Well Ernie, the winds have picked up to 800 miles per hour and the seas are battering the shore. Experts are telling me that Global Warming is to blame.”

     Ah, a villain! This was going to be one of the best Specials yet. As he continued his tortured report, he told of the conflicts between scientists who have been debating the problem eloquently for a few years.
Scientist 1: “Global Warming will increase the number of hurricanes.”
Scientist 2: “Global Warming will decrease the number of hurricanes.”
Scientist 1: “Increase!”
Scientist 2: “DECREASE!”

     While this was going on, I reluctantly broke away from my lonely TV for the computer. I wanted to see if I could find out for myself what the real deal was. I began scouring the internet for documented proof one way or the other, when another error message popped up on my screen:

     Frustrated, I turned off my TV and went out to mow the lawn with my eco-friendly scissors.-Woody